going to catch up and be ahead!

So, I met daniel. thats my now exboyfriend, and we sat down and talked. he agrees that right now being apart is for the best and he also agrees that things need to change. We are working on our relationship with each other and also with ourselves. His sister says that me expecting certain things out of a relationship is unrealistic. well if thats the case i'd just assume be by myself the rest of my life :) I do not and I will not settle for anything less than I think I deserve. But he and I are hanging out tonight. and I told him that we can do that but I will not be in a relationship with anyone right now. I need time for myself, I wanna hang out with friends, that are guys and be taken to dinner. But as far as my life it sorda sucks. I hope for much more happiness this time next year. I hope this was enough to write about I just didn't have much to say.

writing this because I have to and I am late doing it :(

So, anyways. as of saturday I became a single girl. I'm kind of happy kind of not because I didn't do it because I wanted to. I broke up with him because we had plans to meet when i got home from work and I got off work at 9:30 and ended up not finding him until 4:30 in the morning. He was riding 4wheelers and apparently had gotten drunk and not found it necessary to call me and tell me he was still alive. needless to say when i found him he wished he were dead. I called his bestfriend to come help me find him and he picked me up around 12:30. We road around in Iva. IIIVVAAA for four hours and a half. I was so worried that he had a wreck on the way home. I was so worried something bad had happened and then come to find out he was sloppy drunk. oh my gosh. I think I lost my religion that night because I was livid. Anyways, i told him basically that he was a grown adult and there was no reason for me to have to be out at 4 in the morning looking for his ass. Oh and for the record this was the second time I had to be his mother. The first time he got drunk at our friends house on new years and I had to drive his ass home then he throws up all in my bathroom floor so needless to say i'm beyond fed up. So anyways, his friend drove me back home and sunday I came to get my things from his house. its not something i'm proud of and idk if we will never be together again but right now I have bigger issues to focus on, such as soon than to be having to be momma to my boyfriend. but it doesn't change the fact that I wish he wouldn't have been so stupid.

someone please give me a big FML !!! :(

does this explain my day???? oh and might I mention that i'm not eligible for a upgrade until like 2 years from now? yet again fml. and thats all. And another fml is that i'm really not seeing this proverb thing working out for me haha but i'm going to try my bestest because i'm great like that. =) 

Life and Death

So,
As I'm sure you know or I meant to email you and tell you why, I was out of school last week. The reason I wasn't there was because my aunt's husband of two months passed away. So this all got me to thinking about how short life is. The autopsy report showed that he had a brain tumor and also clogged arteries. Him and his wife got married and within two months she was planning his funeral and I sit here and fuss with my boyfriend all the time it really makes you realize just how short your time with someone can be.
        In my blogs you will probably learn that I love my boyfriend of almost three years with all my heart but we have serious issues. We have a love hate relationship; but we're working on it. Actually I'm looking for a counselor for both of us. Anyways, thats way too much information for you but oh well.
            So something that bothers me, my mom's mom has cancer. Not my grandmother because up until she found out she had cancer i'd spoken to her once in my entire life. So Nancy has lung cancer not sure the stage but the doctors in Anderson told her that there was no hope basically.  Now if you smoke, I feel bad for you and no I don't have pitty or think its ok to smoke because number one smoking bothers me if your around me and number two if you smoke long enough it will kill you too! Nancy on the other hand has smoked her entire life except maybe the first ten years of it. And I found out that she is continuously smoking now. She went to Athens georgia and got a second opinion. She has been doing kemo for a couple months now. But she is continuing to smoke. like really??? like seriously you didn't realize that smoking caused this in the first place? but whatever i'm not sure if she's going to live now or not to be honest and maybe a little hateful I don't really care that much. And I know thats horrible but like I said we have no relationship. And she brought this on herself. But on a lighter note, my bestfriend is due with a little boy in a month and i'm the godmother yay!!!! His name is going to be Joel and i am so excited!
           Is this a better blog? lol I meant to write another one last week and never got a chance, i'm sorry.

08/24/11

I suppose this will be the start of my blogging experience. I've been wanting to keep a journal for a while now because there are lots of things that I have to say that I really can't, or thoughts that occur that I can't really discuss with my boyfriend. So, this will be a nice way to do all of that. I've had a blog before but it has been since probably 8th grade that I've used one. So on that note, I will be posting blogs or experiences and thoughts now on here :)